Peyton Loves Pooping for Daddy

Daddy Again:
Since Peyton was born, he has felt very comfortable with me. It seemed as though every time I held him, he would poop. I figured it was just coincidence since he pooped a lot. Lucky me.
It has continued to this day. I am a human laxative for Peyton. This is great, right?
Not when you are in Kohls looking for picture frames and decided that you would park between Best Buy and Kohls so that you didn't have to move the car when you wanted to move from Kohls to Best Buy. Of course you don't bring the diaper bag because what could happen in a matter of 15 minutes. &%^$ happens. I am carrying him through the store (we have not even reached the picture frame area) and i feel the vibration on my arm and it is pretty loud. Amy looks back at us and just laughs because it is so funny that he does it every time for me. We keep walking and it is one of those smelly varieties. Breastfed babies have sweet-smelling poops right...Oh yeah, they are surely sweet. They are not bad, but they have a certain odor to them. I am looking at the picture frames and looking around wondering who else smells it. We find a frame we like and I adjust Peyton in my arms as the arm muscles are getting tired. Then I figure out we have a bit of a problem. Daddy must have deflected all of the poop up and out of his diaper the way i was holding him. It is all over the back of his outfit. Remember, no diaper bag. We just start laughing. We find the picture frame and then move over to the baby department so we can buy an outfit to get him out of the soiled one. It was a beautiful fall day, temperatures in the 80's and all of the outfits we find are long-sleeved. We walk around every carousel of baby clothes and finally find one set that has a short sleeved onesie. We hurry to the cash register. I am holding Peyton away from my chest so i don't get the poop on my shirt, but i am trying to conceal the poop from anyone looking at us. Not an easy task and a Very DIRTY task. Thank goodness for baby wipes and hand sanitizer. We pay for our picture frame and outfits and head to the truck. My arms are shaking from holding him the way i am holding him and the truck is parked at the other end of the parking lot. We make it and change the outfit and diaper (some made it in the diaper after all). To put this into perspective, it was about a 6-wipe change. We throw the outfit into a plastic bag and dispose of the diaper and we have a clean baby again.
This past Saturday, we went to our weekly dinner destination, No Frill Grill, and we are waiting for a table to open up. We are standing outside and the vibration is felt again. I am now a little paranoid so i immediately turn him around to check his back...you guessed it...another blow out. Not nearly as bad (3-wipe change) with only a small spot on the back of the outfit. There i go with the diaper bag and Peyton towards the truck to change him. A couple minutes later and the 3 wipes later, he is a new baby ready to go watch his Mommy and Daddy eat dinner.
Signed,
Peyton's natural laxative